Ten years ago today (June 19th), Leslie and I were married at our church. I remember it being a hot day. I remember a friend of mine and I going for an early lunch that day. Ironically, the wedding and reception went by so quick that I don’t remember almost any of it. I remember seeing Leslie walk down the aisle. I remember talking with her during the wedding ceremony.
Ten years has brought a lot of change. We were talking last night about who we each were then and who we are now. We have seen good times and bad times. We have experienced births and deaths. We have seen God work in us change that we never would have anticipated ourselves.
I was with a few newly weds the other day. I was thinking about all the things I would like to tell them. Here are just a few things that I have learned in 10 years of marriage…
- Marriage is a commitment, not just about a feeling. You see people today (especially celebrities) get married and divorced in a matter of just a few years or even a few months. What went wrong? They “loved” each other enough to get married, what happened? I think it could be a number of things but one is that it was not a commitment, it was based on a feeling. In 10 years of marriage, there have been days where Leslie and I have not “jived” too well. But we made a commitment to God and to each other. I am with Leslie no matter how I feel, no matter what is being done or not being done, no matter how kind or rude she is (I am normally the rude one, not her). No matter the problem, we are together. It is a commitment.
- Don’t go to bed angry at each other. Right before we were married, the Senior Citizens in our church each wrote down one piece of advice for us. The majority of them (there were over 20 of them) said something like, “Don’t go to bed mad at one another.” I thought that was strange. Out of all the advice these older, experienced folks could give us, they chose, “Don’t go to be mad at each other.” Again, the majority of them said that! But in 10 years, I look back on many a night (especially early on) where we went to bed angry at each other (usually over something petty).
- Grow up/grow older together! Leslie and I both recognize in each other that we are not married to the same person we said “I do” to at Victory Baptist Church on June 19, 2004. We have both changed so much. But Leslie made the comment last night, in these past ten years, “We have grown up together.” I think people change. That is what we do. I think that husband and wife should change together. That doesn’t mean that they change into the same type of person together (although I have seen that happen), but that we change into who we become with each other. You don’t wake up one day and say, “Who is this person laying next to me? I don’t even recognize her/him anymore!” Grow up together.
I am so thankful for these past ten years. We now have three daughters. I have less hair and more belly (I liked it the other way better). Leslie is even more beautiful now then the day we were married. I am not just saying that. I know it to be true. God has been good to us! This is truthfully a Happy Anniversary!