Advice

We are continuing our series on “Here is some advice…” It is all about the different advice I have received as we continue deputation. Today’s post will cover advice that I am given regularly. It is actually “Love your wife.” but to generalize I entitled this post, “Love your spouse” because I think it goes both ways.

“Without your spouse, you do not have a ministry.” Can God use a man who is single? Yes. Sure He can! But God’s design is that husband and wife work together in ministry. Aquila and Priscilla are a great example of this, but that is another post (one that we have touched on I might add, click here). If I lose my wife, I lose my ministry. Here are a few tidbits I’ve been given to make sure I “love my spouse…”

Spend time with your spouse. The ministry takes time. I remember when I first started working at my home church my Pastor told me, “The ministry is not a job that you can punch in and out on a time clock. It is always going.” In the process of ministry it is easy for everything else to take a “back seat”, including your family. Although there are times this is unavoidable, time should be made for your spouse.
Do ministry together. Our marriage is by no means perfect, but there is something we have always done. We have always done ministry together. I think it is because we never knew any different. We worked together in ministry before we were married. We have worked together in ministry throughout our marriage. When we had babies, they were just dragged along with us. We have worked together, and if may say so, any good thing that has happened in what I’ve done, Leslie was deeply involved in it. She truthfully makes me better. I can attest to this piece of advice, ministry should be done together.
Do things for your spouse. Pastors have told me the importance of taking care of my wife, of going beyond what is expected and doing special things for her. Her birthday and Christmas should not be the only times I give her gifts. Some have advised that she is the queen of our house and should be treated as such.
Talk to your spouse. Men have told me to tell my wife I love her and tell her often. I am encouraged to tell her how beautiful she is (and she is very beautiful!). She may know that I love her, but it doesn’t hurt for her to be verbally reminded of it regularly. Some have claimed that a lack of communication is one of the biggest problems in marriage. It is important to talk with your spouse.

There is so much more to this subject that I have been encouraged to put to practice. I remind you that this isn’t something I have come up with (although I fully agree with it), but advise I have been given by men of God as we have travelled on deputation. Here is some advice, love your spouse!

I have attached a photo that I took of Leslie last night. I must say I am a very blessed man. The truth is she is obviously gorgeous, but she is even more beautiful on the inside…

Leslie

I remember my ordination. It was some 8-9 years ago. My Pastor had different men from around the community and from our church that had been in the ministry for decades. All of those men were ordained pastors who served in different ministries and churches. They all had experienced things that I have yet to experience. Before the end of my ordination, my pastor asked each man to give me some advice. This was invaluable! I learned about ministry, marriage, and just life in general from the men around that table.

I think in some ways, deputation is like an ordination council, in that you have the opportunity each Sunday morning, Sunday night, and Wednesday night with men who have experienced what the young missionary hasn’t. This post is the beginning of a new series entitled, “Here Is Some Advice”. Over the next few weeks and month, I am going to endeavor to share with you some of the advice I have been given by these men. At times it may not be verbal, but exemplified (as in today’s post).

Here Is Some Advice: Take Advice/Critique/Evaluation.

I was in a mission conference recently where the pastor handed out to each missionary an “evaluation form”. He anticipated our thoughts. We are on deputation trying to raise support, any “evaluating” would be like “biting the hand that is considering to feed you”. Pastor quickly told us this is in an attempt to make them better. He wanted us as missionaries to evaluate the specifics of the conference so that it can be improved. This man is pastoring a spectacular church, a growing, thriving ministry. People are excited. The vision could not be made clearer. Pastor is incredibly organized and focused as well as very seasoned in the ministry. So what was going on in my mind was this question, “Why would a man that is so much more experienced and proven than we are ever take advice from lesser men who have not come close to where he is?” The answer is that he knew that the way to improve is to be able to take advice on how to do things differently/better.

What does the Bible say?

A wise man will take advice. Proverbs 19:20 says, “Hear counsel, and receive instruction, that thou mayest be wise in thy latter end.”
A wise man will become wiser because of advice given. Proverbs 9:9 says, “Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be yet wiser: teach a just man, and he will increase in learning.”
A wise man will even learn from those who are unwise. Proverbs 24:30-32 says, “I went by the field of the slothful, and by the vineyard of the man void of understanding; And, lo, it was all grown over with thorns, and nettles had covered the face thereof, and the stone wall thereof was broken down. Then I saw, and considered it well: I looked upon it, and received instruction.”

Receiving such advice will make you better. What gets in the way? Our pride. We think we are above any criticism that we will not allow anyone an opportunity. But I learned this from the pastor I was with, grow by others sharpening you.

Here is some advice, learn to take advice/critiques/evaluations from others.